Tips for recovering alcoholics during the holidays

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The holidays always present a special challenge to many recovering alcoholics. Whether it is family functions, office parties, or special dinners, alcohol is usually not far away. For recovering alcoholics there lies many temptations and it takes a great deal of strength to overcome them. Here are a few tips to help a recovering alcoholic get through the tempting holidays. If you live in South Carolina and would like to attend AA meetings, see the link at the bottom of this article for more information.

1. Avoid parties and social functions where alcohol is served. It seems like a no brainer but the simplest solution to avoiding a relapse is to not place yourself where the danger is.
2. If you have to attend a function where alcohol is being served, bring bottled water, cranberry juice or some other drink from home and nurse it throughout the evening. Most people will see you holding a drink and never pester you about drinking more.
3. Keep in close contact with your sponsor if you currently have one. If you don't this may be the ideal time to get one. Why go it alone?
4. Attend fashionably late, and leave early. The less time you spend around the environment, the better.
5. Travel in pairs. Believe it or not it is a lot easier to stay sober if you attend functions with people who know about your sobriety and will keep you from slipping.
6. Be honest. If you are in a situation that is pressuring you to drink, explain you are a recovering alcoholic and never get into a debate or discussion with someone that is already “three sheets to the wind.” Many times other drinkers will go out of their way to try to get you to fall off the wagon. If this happens, be prepared to leave.
7. Make sober friends and plan holiday activities with them. This is a great way to help you in the process of overcoming alcoholism. Sober, non drinking friends make it easier for you to enjoy your holiday.
8. Keep your cell phone handy and make sure to call for support if you have to.

For Alcoholics Anonymous meetings in your area, see: AA South Carolina

For additional support, and information on alcoholism and addictions, see: The Addicted Family

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Support for addiction in the family

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Loving an addict is painful, there are just no simple ways around the issue. Whether it is your spouse, your child, or a friend, the pain and isolation you feel is overwhelming. For many, the shame associated with having an addict in your family is also a key factor in why so many families wait so long before they actually take the steps to seek treatment. If you suffer from addiction and you live in South Carolina please see: Addiction Treatment Centers in South Carolina.

Traditional means of support might include sharing your story with friends, family and even the family priest, or pastor etc. The courage it takes to actually air ones dirty laundry is immense and in most cases it will be seen that way by those you decide to turn to for support. Pulling outsiders into your own personal shame and hell is not easy and there will be some that will avoid you altogether. Getting people to support you while not judging is even harder to do. Where can one go and simply find help and courage, support and strength? One must first seek support through groups like Narconon, Al-Anon, Alcoholics Anonymous, Codependents Anonymous, and for young people-Alateen .

Fortunately there are many valuable resources online and locally that many can turn to in this difficult time. Loving a person that is addicted to drugs and alcohol is a painful and sad life. Often we feel alone in our pain, our devastation and grief. The grief we feel is second only to what we feel when we lose a loved one, and perhaps the two aren't totally unrelated.

There is pain, fear, denial, anger and hurt. Once you take the action you need to get well yourself, you will heal from within. Once the healing you experience begins to take firm root, resolve becomes the next step. It takes a lot of courage to ask for help, and a lot of courage to find it. Stand strong. Stand firm, and don't give up.

For support and help see:
Narconon Centers
Al Anon Meetings
Alcoholics Anonymous
Co Dependants Anonymous
Alateen
Drug Addiction and Alcohol Support
 
For information and support on various drugs and addiction, see:
The Addicted Family

Related articles by this author:

• When your love isn't enough, how to deal with an addict
• Dealing with more than one addiction
• Addicted to eating corn starch
• Understanding and helping an addict
• Addicted to chewing and eating ice

When your love isn't enough, how to deal with an addict

If you or a loved one is caught in the grips of addiction, your battle is a tough one. If you live in Orangeburg, or other areas of South Carolina, please see:

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS

803-534-4682

590 Louis Street

Orangeburg, SC 29115

NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS

803-254-6262

Columbia, SC 29201

Why won't love work?

Loving an addict is a painful journey for anyone to take. Not only do you see the physical damages ravaging them daily, but you watch that spark of life, that glimmer of love and recognition die in their eyes. They no longer see you, or feel your love, you are a vessel or an obstacle. It is a challenge every day to remember the person your loved one used to be, but at the same time it is that very memory that keeps you holding on, hoping and loving an addict. Love isn't enough to bring about sobriety because addiction blocks the transmission of the feelings. Addiction intercepts and alters reality for the addict and as such does not allow for the addict to feel and express love. Do not worry that your addict will feel unloved if you don't fulfill their needs with regards to their addiction. They are not capable of knowing what a true act of love is. Once in treatment and fully clean from the grips of their substance abuse, an addict will once again "feel" real genuine feelings. Learning to cope with the bad feelings, and embrace the good feelings will be a part of their journey.

Understanding your new role in an addicts life

One realization one must make and understand is that your love for the addict can not be enough to get them to change. It is not that your love is failing you, or failing them, but your love and their love for you is being held hostage by a chemical masquerading as a cure. You may need to adjust the definition of your love when dealing with an addict. Is your love for the addict allowing the addiction to flourish? Are you the convenient ally in an addicts quest for death? Has your love for the addict allowed you to enable their addiction? Finding help to learn how to effectively love an addict without sacrificing your happiness is key. Do not let your new role in the addicts life be one of co-dependency, and an enabler. Your new role has to be I will help get you treatment, I will not let my love for you help you die through addiction.

Knowing your enemy

Drug addiction is a state of periodic or chronic intoxication produced by the repeated consumption of a drug (natural or synthetic). It's characteristics include: an overpowering desire or need (compulsion) to continue taking the drug and to obtain it by any means; a tendency to increase the dose; a psychic (psychological) and generally a physical dependence on the effects of the drug; and detrimental effects on the individual and on society. Addiction replaces bad feelings with a false sense of happiness, and blocks genuine love and happiness from reaching the addict. Addiction is made when the connection between human and chemical bond through abuse. 

For more information and support on addiction, see: The Addicted Family

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Treatment and Interventions do work!

Image via WikipediaYou may hear a lot of addicts and even addict friends and family say that treatments and interventions don’t work. Bull. It does work, just because the addict failed, doesn’t mean the treatment was a failure. No matter what type of issue we may have in this world, whether its drugs, food, or some other problem we must overcome, the day we say the help didn’t work is the day we gave ourselves the crutch. Treatment and interventions are tools to get you where you need to go, addicts entering treatment that leave early, relapse or even avoid

going  to an intervention  must face their failure to take advantage of a tool that is intended to help them, help themselves.  Here’s an example, if you were dying of an illness and all you had to do was change your  lifestyle and do the suggestions your doctor said to do and you will live, and you fail to do them, who’s fault is it if you die?  If all it took was taking a pill everyday for the rest of your life to stay alive and you refused to do it, is it the pill that stopped working? No. The pill can only work if you take it. Interventions and  in patient treatment centers are exactly the same way. They can help, if the addict takes them to task, and uses what they have to offer.

All addicts will say that treatment doesn’t work, or that interventions won’t do any good. Of course they will say this.  They may go to great lengths to prove it to you as well.  Many will refuse treatment or avoid going to an intervention.  What they want you to believe is that those ideas won’t work, so you will let them continue on their path of self destruction.

So what does the family and friends to when interventions were avoided  and their addict refused treatment, or their addicted loved one relapses? Get them back into treatment, each and every time, that is until you come to a realization that you have done all you can do. Once you reach this conclusion, then the addict  may have to find their own way with or with out you. Find your own help, and attend meetings yourself. Learning how to break free from co-dependency and how to cope with your life so that you can be happy is important whether the addict fails at treatment or not. An addicts failure doesn’t have to be yours. Get healthy, stay happy, and  always, walk in the truth.