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LOS ANGELES, CA - APRIL 30: Rodney King arrives at EsoWon bookstore to sign copies of his new book, 'The Riot Within: My Journey From Rebellion to Redemption,' on April 30, 2012 in Los Angeles, California. King is best known as the victim of a brutal police beating that took place in Los Angeles. It’s been 20 years since the Rodney King verdict that sparked infamous L.A. Riots. (Image credit: Getty Images via @daylife)
Many of us remember Rodney King when he first gained notoriety in 1991 as a victim of a beating by LA police officers which set off a huge race riot after the officers were acquitted. The beating was caught on tape and aired all across the nation. He was in the public eye off and on battling a well known drug and alcohol addiction and was a patient on the wildly popular show Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew. In an interview King was reported to have stated "your disease will creep up on you.."
King's fiance Cynthia Kelley stated that King had been drinking and smoking weed all the previous day prior to her discovering his naked body in the swimming pool of their Rialto home. Kelley stated that she had gone to bed at around 2 am and was abruptly awakened by King screaming in their backyard and beating on the glass of their home. After asking King what was wrong, Kelley reported that shortly after she heard a splash in the backyard. It was then that she went to investigate, that she found King at the bottom of the pool.
Rehab is not a permanent solution, it is the beginning of a solution. Many addicts have to stay active in their recovery and never take their sobriety for granted.
An autopsy is scheduled to take place on King Monday. This is an unfortunate end to a person that obviously faced many struggles in life only to succumb to them in this most tragic of ways.
We live in harsh times, and for children that have to survive these days safely they have to be informed about drugs early in life. While many schools may have anti drug programs implemented, many do not. Let's face it, the once a year "Say No to Drugs" program isn't going to get it. When our youth have to not only face the dangers of drugs on the streets, but often are exposed to them at home, we have to make every effort, every day to protect them from this death sentence of drug addiction.
1. Rally the troops
Get support locally, from your church, your teachers, your neighbors and your family. Have group discussions with your family and the children encouraging everyone to share experiences with the children. 2. Bring it up
Avoiding talking about drugs, or even letting your kid stop you in your tracks with rolled eyes and sighs, is not an option. Whether they realize it or not, by keeping the forum open, you have set the topic free and once they realize you are willing to talk to them and tell them what you know, they will be more likely to open up. 3. Use tools
There are many books, and DVDs on the perils of drug addiction, and use. Watch these with your children and discuss it afterwards. Many libraries have books etc. that you can use to help with your child. If not there are many available online for purchase. 4. Ask Questions
Your child may already know a lot more than you think. Ask questions, pay close attention, sometimes it's what they aren't saying that is the most important. 5. Start early
If you think your children are too young to learn about the dangers of drugs, think again. Most addicts state that they began using and abusing drugs and alcohol by age 12. However there are studies showing that children are beginning much sooner than that in homes where the abuse is already taking place by adults. Why is this relevant to your child? Well these same children go to school with your child and they may introduce your child to drugs even earlier. 6. Get smart
The only way you are going to be really effective in keeping your child safe is when you become educated yourself. Read, research and study all you can. Learn what signs to look for, what symptoms to be on the alert for, and what behaviors can be red flags. If you don't know what you are talking about, it is only a matter of time before your child realizes it, and there goes your credibility. 7. Get real
If you, or a family member is addicted to drugs, whether they are legal prescription medications or not, or if you or a family member has a drinking problem, your child is at a high risk of developing this disease. Protect them at all costs. Many family members that are under the influence abuse children physically, emotionallly, and sexually. 8. Play it safe
Your child will develop a closer relationship to you and be more willing to communicate openly when they feel safe to say what they are thinking and feeling. Getting angry, or talking too much without letting your son/daughter have their say will only discourage them from opening up. They need to know they are safe to talk about anything with you without fear of retribution or punishment. 9. Don't sugar coat
You may feel like softening this topic up for your youngster by saying "drugs are bad, they make you sick," or "you can go to jail for using drugs." However, children can and should know the truth about drugs. Drugs can and will kill, and the only way to be safe is to never start using them. Period. Be blunt, be direct. It's too serious and too deadly to worry about delicate terms and phrases. 10. Get help
If you suspect your child is already abusing drugs and alcohol you must get help NOW. With drug abuse, there may be no tomorrow and so often there isn't. Contact your pediatrician, family doctor, or go to the emergency room if you notice any signs of drug use. The sooner you tackle the problem the better your chances are at being successful.
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Most family members of addicts and alcoholics go through a great deal of stress during the holidays. Whether or not to include an addicted family member to holiday functions, controlling unpredictable behaviors,worrying over missing money and valuables can all be stressful for the family. Some important planning can take place to help make these family occasions less stressful.
Set rules- Make sure if you are hosting any holiday event that includes the presence of your alcoholic or addicted family member that they are well aware of your expectations and respect your rules. Let them know ahead of time what you will and will not tolerate and what will happen should they disrespect your boundaries and rules.
Enlist help- If you have to have addicted/alcoholic members included in family holiday gatherings, enlist the help of other family members to help you. Family can be your eyes and ears to make sure the addict is adhering to your rules and respecting your boundaries. Have a ride home for them lined up with a sober family member if they don't respect the family.
Warn family members- Some friends and family members may not realize what is going on within the family and need to be clued in beforehand. Let them know that there could be some behavior and/or problems at the event and let them know what they can do to prepare should anything go awry.
Mean what you say- Be prepared to follow through on your consequences. Do not let your holidays be ruined by a family member struggling with alcoholism or addiction. If you have to call the authorities do so, and make sure your family members support you. If they can not support your consequences, do not allow them to be a part of the event. Having enablers sabotage your holidays is just unfair to everyone.
Be alcohol free- Do yourself a favor, you're just asking for trouble by having mixed drinks, beer or alcohol present during the holidays when an addict or alcoholic is around. Don't think for one minute a drug user won't drink, especially if they don't have access to their substance of choice.
It is hard for families that have loved ones that are addicted to find much to celebrate about. Between the sleepless nights of worry, the tears and the hopelessness finding joy and happiness during the holidays is difficult. However, it is imperative that families get together during holidays and try to enjoy them regardless. It is also important that addicted family members are dealt with in a way that does not turn out to be another bad memory for all. If you live in South Carolina there is help for your addicted loved one. Please view the link and toll free number for treatment in South Carolina at the bottom of this article. Here are a few tips for the holidays of families dealing with addiction:
Keep things simple- Stress for any family members makes the holidays are hard on everyone, including an addict or recovering addict. Do not plan meals that are elaborate, but keep them simple, have everyone bring a signature dish and contribute. Remind your guests there will be no alcoholic beverages so if they wish, they can bring a non alcoholic punch etc.
No alcohol – Some family members resent that they have to give up a glass of wine during the holidays but an addict is an addict, and any form of addictive substances at a family gathering is a bad idea. Whether the addicted loved one is battling addiction currently or a recovering addict, regardless of the substance of choice, avoid having them at the event.
Plan an intervention- Lets face it, no time is an ideal time for an intervention in the addicts eyes. However holidays provide a unique set of circumstances that have many loved ones around for support and this may be an ideal time to get your addict into treatment. Give it some thought, it may be the only time you can harness in many family members at one time to help.
Find time to express love- Use the holidays as an opportunity to show your love. Many addicts are addicts out of deep seated unhappiness. Rather than to allow an addict the opportunity to delve into any unhappy feelings, reinforce your love for them, and each other. Thanksgiving is a good time to go around the table and have each member say one thing that they love about each family member. Make it a tradition and let those who are struggling know that your love for them never changes. Replacing negative feelings with positive feelings at a family gathering can offset the negativity that often engulfs a family dealing with addiction.
Leave your money and valuables at home- This is unfortunately, a reality in the lives of families with addicts. If you are planning a big family gathering for the holidays and your addicted loved one will be there, you will have to warn others coming to leave money, and anything of value at home. Addicts sometimes slip away from a crowd and will rifle through family members coats and purses looking for money and valuables for drugs and alcohol. If you can't leave such things at home, consider keeping these items on your person at all times. Preferably in a front pocket of your garment.
The holidays always present a special challenge to many recovering alcoholics. Whether it is family functions, office parties, or special dinners, alcohol is usually not far away. For recovering alcoholics there lies many temptations and it takes a great deal of strength to overcome them. Here are a few tips to help a recovering alcoholic get through the tempting holidays. If you live in South Carolina and would like to attend AA meetings, see the link at the bottom of this article for more information.
Avoid parties and social functions where alcohol is served. It seems like a no brainer but the simplest solution to avoiding a relapse is to not place yourself where the danger is.
If you have to attend a function where alcohol is being served, bring bottled water, cranberry juice or some other drink from home and nurse it throughout the evening. Most people will see you holding a drink and never pester you about drinking more.
Keep in close contact with your sponsor if you currently have one. If you don't this may be the ideal time to get one. Why go it alone?
Attend fashionably late, and leave early. The less time you spend around the environment, the better.
Travel in pairs. Believe it or not it is a lot easier to stay sober if you attend functions with people who know about your sobriety and will keep you from slipping.
Be honest. If you are in a situation that is pressuring you to drink, explain you are a recovering alcoholic and never get into a debate or discussion with someone that is already “three sheets to the wind.” Many times other drinkers will go out of their way to try to get you to fall off the wagon. If this happens, be prepared to leave.
Make sober friends and plan holiday activities with them. This is a great way to help you in the process of overcoming alcoholism. Sober, non drinking friends make it easier for you to enjoy your holiday.
Keep your cell phone handy and make sure to call for support if you have to.
For Alcoholics Anonymous meetings in your area, see: AA South Carolina
For additional support, and information on alcoholism and addictions, see: The Addicted Family
While this latest news may not be a surprise to anyone in particular, it does drive home the very real threat of alcoholism and death. Amy Winehouse is the public face that we can give this deadly disease today, however there have certainly been many famous celebrities that have come before her, see: Janie Lane's sister suspects alcohol played a part in singer's death. If you live in South Carolina and are battling alcoholism like Winehouse was, seek help today by contacting: South Carolina Depart of Alcohol and Other Drug Abuse Services.
The coroner investigating Winehouse's death, Suzanne Greenaway gave an official ruling of “death by misadventure.” The singer died after the resumption of drinking alcohol following a brief period of sobriety. Death by misadventure may be the terminology used, but to many it would be better received and have greater impact to call it more definitively, “death by alcohol poisoning.” Why? Well simply put, words can easily usher those who drink heavily into that perpetual denial they exist in.
It is as easy for an alcoholic to dismiss a term like “misadventure” as it is for a chronic smoker to say, “oh this cough is because there is too much dust in the air.” Those caught in the grasp of addiction, in fact grasp onto many things that help them avoid confronting their illness, even words. Amy Winehouse is not the first to relapse, and she certainly will not be the last, however the key thing to remember is that the disease of alcoholism is a very real, very deadly disease and should be regarded as such. If you or a loved one is in the very real danger of dying from this disease seek information and treatment resources here: The Addicted Family.
Treatment for alcohol and drug addiction in South Carolina is changing all the time. As times change, treatment, facilities and needs change that afford a person suffering a better chance at making a full recovery. Treatment centers are now changing the look and feel of the treatment environment and offering a wider range of help, even financing for those who desperately need treatment. If you live in South Carolina and are struggling yourself with addiction or a loved one is an alcoholic, the time is now. See: Narconon Freedom Center of South Carolina. This site sports a wonderful home like facility and also claims to have a 70% success rate. For more articles on alcoholism, news and support, see the links below.
For family members, it is a hard road to walk when someone you love is in trouble and addicted to alcohol and drugs. If you need additional information on other drugs and help, visit a site just for family members, The Addicted Family. This site provides help, hope and advice on how to cope, and deal with your loved one's addiction.
In simple terms, a functioning alcoholic is the one that typically flies under everyone's radar for a long time. They fly under radars because many of them are still holding down jobs, even careers and never seem overly intoxicated. They usually stick to a pattern or set specific times and to drink. Because they seem so in control and can maintain a lifestyle that mimics successful living, many people look the other way or may not even know that they are dealing with an alcoholic at all. If you live in South Carolina, and believe someone in your family may be an alcoholic, time is of the essence, see: South Carolina Association of Alcoholism and Drug Abuse Counselors.
Realistically, most drunk-on-the-floor alcoholics were once "functioning" within their disease. This for some is a fleeting stage of the addiction, but for many it can mean "functioning" for years. They give the "appearance" of having control over their drinking which is far from the truth. Over time, the "functioning alcoholic" will cease to be "functioning". Where once they may have seemed the fun loving person that nursed a few at a party, to the one that has to be dragged out and taken to jail to sober up for the night. Rest assured, all of them were once "functioning" and all of them will succumb to the drink eventually.
Functioning alcoholics use a wide range of excuses and reasons for their drinking, and because they appear to be holding everything together and only do it at certain times, their loved ones have a hard time finding fault with their reasoning. The "I only drink on the weekends to unwind because I work so hard..." is a typical reply once their drinking comes into question. In their eyes they are just rewarding themselves for their hard work. The problem is, anything that a person "has" to do, on a "regular" basis that is a known cause of "addiction" is a problem. What starts out as "only after work" or "only on the weekends" will progress to "sometimes during work" and weekends will suddenly start on "Thursday."
A functioning alcoholic can only fly under your radar as long as you chose to overlook or ignore it. Do not fall for their rationale and do not ignore the problem. It will get worse. Take steps to seek treatment before they become "non-functioning". Once they enter this phase in their addiction-and they ALL do,
it is extremely difficult to reason with them or get them into treatment. It is only a matter of time before the disease has their talons set deep into your loved one and nothing short of a miracle will save them from it. Tackling it early can only be a good thing, for you, your loved one, family, friends and the innocent person on the road when that "functioning" alcoholic decides to take a drive.
For additional information and support on all kinds of addiction, see: The Addicted Family.
It is becoming a regular part of news these days with celebrities falling prey to their
addictions. Most recent is Jani Lane, lead man of the 80's rock band Warrant. If you live in South Carolina and are currently struggling with addiction, see: South Carolina Drug and Alcohol Addiction.
In a recent interview the singer's sister Vicky Oswald Ley was able to shed some possible light on the singer's cause of death.
In a recent report, the autopsy of the singer proved inconclusive. The cause of the singer's death will more than likely be determined by toxicology reports that are currently underway. However, in a recent interview the singer's sister Vicky Oswald Ley did suggest alcohol was the probable culprit in the singer's death.
Ley also stated that Lane had absolutely nothing to do with drugs of any kind. Lane has been arrested numerous times for DUI. Lane was on Celebrity Fit Club in 2005, but it seems that Celebrity Rehab might have been a better choice for the struggling singer.
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LOS ANGELES, CA - APRIL 30: Rodney King arrives at EsoWon bookstore to sign copies of his new book, 'The Riot Within: My Journey From Rebellion to Redemption,' on April 30, 2012 in Los Angeles, California. King is best known as the victim of a brutal police beating that took place in Los Angeles. It’s been 20 years since the Rodney King verdict that sparked infamous L.A. Riots. (Image credit: Getty Images via @daylife)
